Generational Trauma & the Cure

If you ask anyone from any culture what is generation trauma, you may get a lot of replies stating, “I don’t know”, or even an answer that after thinking about it for a few minutes would describe the pain endured by many in their family, their neighborhoods or even those who share their nationality. What’s even more interesting is that if you ask what the cure is, you may get silence or even more replies of, “I don’t know” and moreover, “I don’t know and I have no idea of what to do about it….but somebody needs to do something”.

Generational trauma is exactly what it sounds like: trauma that isn’t just experienced by one person but extends from one generation to the next. “It can be silent, covert, and undefined, surfacing through nuances and inadvertently taught or implied throughout someone’s life from an early age onward,” licensed clinical psychologist and parenting evaluator Melanie English, PhD

Article: What Is Generational Trauma? Here’s How Experts Explain It by  Claire Gillespie 
 Published on October 27, 2020 Health

Some would say it sounds like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder); however, I want you to hear what Dr. Joy DeGruy has to say about her topic on Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome being different from PTSD and she explains how trauma can be passed on generation after generation. As an African American woman living now in Israel, which I consider also a part of Africa and not the “Middle East”, I can totally identify with what she says. Being outside of the bubble of America has helped me to begin the healing process.

“Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. How is it different from PTSD? Posted by YouTuber AJ+ Opinion

So, seeing this video and knowing what some experts would say the definition is of Generational Trauma and more specifically to Africans worldwide who suffered a horrific holocaust, capture, murder, insidious treatment called slavery and terrorism for centuries and still to this day post-slavery……….what can we do to heal and move forward?

The Most High is a loving El and just as there are people who hurt and destroy, there are those who He blesses us with in our lives to heal and thrive. In each culture that has suffered atrocities from mankind, there is a formula for healing and I believe it is within that culture itself in which the people understand one another’s story, plight, struggles, fears, weaknesses, strengths and may have a tendency to have more compassion for one another….it’s called ones culture.

Culture is defined in many ways, one being: all the ways of life including arts, beliefs and institutions of a population that are passed down from generation to generation. Culture has been called “the way of life for an entire society.” As such, it includes codes of manners, dress, language, religion, rituals, art.

The African Holocaust of the Transatlantic slave trade destroyed 15 million or even more lives. With such devastation, it would take the Most High and each other to heal…..more over, our culture is put in place to protect us. Our belief in the Most High and following His instructions is our protection & healing. As a woman of Jewish faith, I whole heartedly believe this. The below Torah verse speaks to this subject of the laws of the Most High and how it is to be incorporated into our every day lives and culture.

Deu 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

To each and every one that reads this post, this is to be our healing balm of Gilead to stop the trauma, heal, move forward and ultimately thrive so that each and every one of us that chooses to can be a light unto the world and help others to do the same.

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Nature’s Relaxation Therapy

I know we’ve heard many times before that stress kills. In these days we are overwhelmed day in and out by so many external things outside of our control and also internal thoughts, fears, doubts, insecurities and more. Our faith can be shaken by the least of things, not to mention tragedy and problems that seem too enormous to bear. Well I hope to give some relaxation tips that work for me as well as natural ways such as herbs and minerals to help decrease stress and help you to relax.

Before we get into herbs and minerals, let’s talk about some simple things that can be done to decrease stress or to relax better. The following is a list of some of my personal favorites that work every time for me:

  • Meditation on the Word of The Most High: this one is of the utmost importance. I have a few favorites passages that comfort me, some of them from my youth that I saw my parents and Grandmother recite or read in times of trouble or stress.

Psalm 23 The Most High’s Prayer and Psalm 91 about messengers guarding those that are His in all our ways. This also helps us to let go and to submit to His will. Don’t trouble ourselves with things out of our control once we’ve done all that He has shown us to do.

  • Find a special place that you can go in or outside of your home that’s quiet and peaceful, even if it’s just 15-30 minutes and do one of your favorite things…..reading, walking, looking at nature, yoga, exercising, drinking a cup of tea, etc.
  • Make a list of the things that are stressing you whether it is a “TO DO” List or things you want to change and attack that list one day at a time. Give a time limit of how much time per day you will focus on those things and put the list away after each time out of sight.
  • Have a support group of family and/or friends that you can share things with. Don’t dump on them but from time to time it’s okay to let those closest to you know about your toughest problems. Who knows, they may have a healthy solution. Make sure these are trustworthy people and let their lives be the testimony for this.
  • Don’t take on other peoples’ stress!!!!! I can not stress this enough (no pun intended). If you can’t help someone, be there as a true friend to listen but it’s not your problem to solve. If there is something you can do to HELP, by all means, help but don’t make it your issue to solve.

Now that we have discussed those things, how about some info on natural herbs and minerals to reduce stress and relax. This video shares some great ideas but there are so many more. Hopefully this will get you started into searching for something that fits your lifestyle and preferences.

My favorites are Valerian Root as a tea or drops and Magnesium taken as a capsule. Lavender drops or Lemon Grass drops near your pillow works very well for a deep sleep. They are both relatively inexpensive and easy to find in your local pharmacy or health care store. As always, speak to your health care provider before adding any supplement to your diet.

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Black Seed Oil Review, Vegan Recipes & More

My Black Seed Oil Review

Many call Black Seed Oil ”Liquid Gold” and some have said that it cures everything except death. It was so valuable that the seeds were found in King Tut’s tomb, which gives you an idea of its value even in ancient times. I heard about this Blackseed Oil for the first time through a great friend but didn’t seek it out immediately. After finally looking into it and deciding to try it, I wanted to share some of my thoughts; but first, check out this short video review by a physician, Dr. Eric Berg.

As you may have heard in the above video, it is said to cure/ease so many things. I began using it as an anti-inflammatory and pain cure for arthritis, mainly for my back. Also, I believe that it is helping to protect my nerve cells against free radical damage (acting as an anti-oxidant/anti-aging). It causes cancer cells to commit suicide…..WHAT???🤷 It is in medical terms a somatostatin analog, which as you heard the doctor in the vid state was the only natural one that he could find. People pay thousands of dollars for cancer treatment. As far as concomitant and natural therapy for multiple ailments, this one has made number one on my list!!!🏆 STOCK THIS IN YOUR CABINET!!!

The only drawback I can report about this amazing oil is that I suffered from constipation and had to put more effort into staying hydrated. I currently am using only one teaspoon a day and plan to continue this natural remedy.

Apple Cider Vinegar and Lemon Together

Check out this quick video on ACV and Lemon together. A very powerful combination. It’s absolutely been life-changing. As a part of my daily detox, I also give it a thumbs up. 🏆 STOCK THIS IN YOUR CABINET!!!

I take 1-2 ounces of lemon, 2 tablespoons of ACV in 16-20 ounces of water. I have not yet seen any drawbacks from this natural therapy. 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

Tasty Vegan Cooking…Some of my Faves from my kitchen and from YouTuber Rachel Ama!

This change from a nearly meatless, animal-free diet has definitely been a learning process, but very rewarding. The main thing to remember is to GET STARTED and DON’T BE AFRAID to experiment in the kitchen. Try new things. I’m including a video below of Rachel Ama’s from her YouTube Channel. She has some amazing recipes. Also below I have posted a few pics of my own that my family and I enjoy daily. I do meal prep a few days out of the week to cut down on the cooking time and then begin to ”build a plate/bowl” so to speak. Remember to KEEP IT ALKALINE as much as possible and pack your meals with nutrients, BUY ORGANIC when possible and WASH produce, beans and grains.

Last but surely not least, I leave you with some meditation

A Psalm of David, Psalm 30:1-12 This was originally written by David to be sung at the inauguration of the Temple, though he knew it would not take place in his lifetime but of his son’s, Solomon. The Psalm entered into the siddur as a prayer to be said on Hanukka and was later adopted as a part of the daily prayers. It means a lot to me because of all the trials and tribulations me and my family have been through. In the midst of it all, pain and joy, we emerge feeling grateful and blessed. Most of all, we are transforming and growing daily. Stay blessed!

Psa 30:1 I exalt You, O יהוה, for You have drawn me up, And have not let my enemies rejoice over me.
Psa 30:2 יהוה my Elohim, I have cried to You, And You have healed me.
Psa 30:3 יהוה, You brought me up from the grave; You have kept me alive, from going down into the pit.
Psa 30:4 Sing praise to יהוה, You kind ones of His, And give thanks at the remembrance of His Set-apartness.
Psa 30:5 For His displeasure is for a moment, His delight is for life; Weeping might last for the night, But joy comes in the morning.
Psa 30:6 As for me, I have said in my ease, “Never would I be shaken!”
Psa 30:7 יהוה, in Your good pleasure You have made my mountain to stand strong; You hid Your face, and I was troubled.
Psa 30:8 I cried out to You, O יהוה; And to יהוה I prayed:
Psa 30:9 “What gain is there in my blood, When I go down to the pit? Would dust praise You? Would it declare Your truth?
Psa 30:10 “Hear, O יהוה, and show me favour; יהוה, be my helper!”
Psa 30:11 You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have torn off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
Psa 30:12 So that esteem might praise You and not be silent. O יהוה my Elohim, I thank You forever.

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Journey to Wellness: Turning Back the Clock Part 2

First & foremost spirituality:🙏🏿

Spirituality is the center of my life and my Love for the Most High. We should always try to bear these fruits so that there is no room for negativity and when trouble comes, we will be able to withstand the stress and temptations of the world.
But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith,
Meekness, Temperance: against such there is no law.

Decrease Stress in your life as much as possible😰

Check out my post on the relationship between Cortisol and Stress and why this is so very important to stop this vicious feedback cycle.
https://tapin2life.com/2016/08/08/the-relationship-between-cortisol-and-stress/

Get at least 7 hours of sleep each night. Notice that I said each night!!!!😴

Have a Hobby, do anything that makes you at peace with The Most High

One of my major hobbies is dance and I gain so much from teaching the art. Find something that suits you and gain healing from it.

A support group is extremely important as well:

Sometimes you’ll look right and left and find that it’s just you, The Most High, and the Ruach ha Kodesh. If we’re extremely blessed we have the support of close family and friends…be sure that those you walk with are for Yah to gain optimum support

Responsibility for your own health: Cooking/preparing your own meals & educating yourself about what changes to make, listen to your body. It’s a journey. It may help as you get started to keep a journal of what you eat and drink and the effect these things have on you.

Gardening at any level or taking care of house plants- grow what you can and eat it! Have a window garden or an inside herb garden. It doesn’t take much space or time.

Exercise and stretching:🧘🏿‍♀️🏋️‍♀️🤾🏿

What’s your actual age? Can you bend over and touch your palms to the floor? Stretching and yoga just do the body good in turning back the clock. Check out my Taptutor Youtube Channel for low/ moderate impact exercise. Stretching and higher intensity dance videos coming to you in the future!

Starting over…shopping list:🛒
Drink/Eat alkaline water & food


https://facty.com/lifestyle/wellness/10-best-high-alkaline-foods/2/

What’s in your kitchen? See the above link for a list of the top 15 alkaline foods. Also daily detoxification with lemon water, apple cider vinegar, and water are great ways to gently detox the body.

So you’re in the grocery store or the whole foods store…….what do you purchase??? (this list will hopefully get you started). Most of these foods detoxify, are antioxidants and anti-inflammatory.

GrainsFruits Nuts & Seeds Vegetables OtherLegumes & BeansOils/
Healthy Fats
Whole Spelt FlourApples🍎AlmondsPeppers:
especially cayenne,
bell peppers
Mushrooms🍄
(rich in vitamin D)
Green/red/
Black/Orange Lentils
Olive Oil
QuinoaBlueberries
Raspberries
Cherries
Brazil
Nuts
broccoli🥦Plant based drinks
(not soy)
like Almond,
coconut🥥,
cashew, etc.
Chick PeasAvo-
cado
Oil
Brown RiceStrawberriesPine
Nuts
root veggies
carrots,
beets
Hummos, apple cider vinegarKidney BeansSesame
Seed Oil
OatsSeeded
Watermelon🍉
Walnutskale, greensDate Sugar, Honey🍯
or Coconut Sugar
Red or Black BeansSun-
flower
Oil
BuckwheatDark seeded grapesTahinisea veggies
Dried Herbs: oregano,
basil, parsley, etc.
Tofu in moderation
(fermented)
Tempeh
Black
seed
Oil &
Hemp Oil
If you must
have bread
whole grain
Limes/lemonsChia Seedssweet potatoesSpirulina, ginger, sea salt
tumeric, green tea
Coconut
Oil🥥
Avocado🥑Flax SeedsonionsMatcha
ClementinePumpkin
Seeds
asparagusMoringa
Bananagarlic Cinnamon
Minimum Must Have Grocery List

Caution if you suffer from gout or gall/kidney stones or are prone to oxalate accumulation as you implement the above foods

I leave you with this inspirational video and thought!!!
“God Can Do Anything But Fail”

Try Him, believe in Him with all your heart, all is possible!

Disclaimer:
I’m not an M.D. but a Doctor of Pharmacy, not Ph.D. Please, anything that you do make sure that you inform your physician of any changes from a health aspect.

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Bruised

Today was not too bad.  Good thing I stayed busy at work.  Was the exact day that our Beloved one departed from us.  The year seemed to go by so quickly but yet was so difficult for us all.  I want to thank each and every person out there that shared in our grief and supported us.  The journey of healing is not over but it does get easier.  As a part of the healing process, I often turned to writing.  I hope that this poem is received as being straight from the heart and encourages someone to move forward despite the grief.

 

BRUISED  by Monica Terry

20/7/2020

Dark scarlet resulted as capillaries burst underneath brown, supple skin as a result of the initial impact of the horrific injury. As the words, “Hu Neftar” departed from his lips I began to replay my life’s history.  What? Within 24 hours I need to come up with an obiturary?

Blue and purple brilliantly emerged with the tenderness of the skin that received blood into surrounding tissues as we stood and looked at the body before the funeral.  Reality setting in, nociceptors delayed sending a proper signal that was computable.  Stop!  Aren’t there loopholes in the CNS for situations so Immutable?

Pale green didn’t want to show itself so quickly, because that would mean time marching on without him here; as birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, graduations occur and we all try to persevere.  Is time speeding up?  Maybe he knew the end was very near.  I would like to think that when he was brought back that he said, “Peace out Ya’ll, keep faith, nothing to fear”.

Yellow-brown introduces a new reality as old hemoglobin is absorbed and we make an attempt not to show the discoloration.  The fear that the old and new friends when we speak of him may think it’s an unhealthy fixation.  Really?  And I ask that with a bit of indignation.

Eventually, I know without a doubt that a Pure brown will emerge again, and perhaps other bruises will appear to join the colorful array on our skin; each one’s dermis displaying what phase we are currently in.  It’s bruises that make us who we are so we rise to win……time…. time….and time again.

 

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Photo credit:  Lifeat139a

Say Their Names

After tragedy strikes, yellow tape stripped away

Broken lives, dreams shattered, discontinued birthday

Bad news, knock on the door, “Mam we have news to relay”

SAY THEIR NAMES

Someone’s son, father, wife, daughter

Sister, brother, can no longer comfort one another

Loved one, GONE, a generation goes no further

SAY THEIR NAMES

Precious children, gutted aspirations, never to graduate

Stolen time to ponder, contemplate on life, or reevaluate

Holocaust proven by history, can hate be innate?

SAY THEIR NAMES

He is not happy with the bloodshed, innocent souls cry out

Those with bloody hands, punishment coming, no doubt

Prayers for perseverance, let justice swiftly come about

SAY THEIR NAMES

Let the fallen never be forgotten.  Let their families be comforted.  Let us see the day where we don’t have to say another name

of a soul perished from this injustice.

Psalms 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction:

for thy word hath quickened me.


And Sadly…….the list goes on…..

George Floyd--Breonna TaylorAkiel Denkins-Sandra Bland-Trayvon MartinAlton SterlingPhilando Castle-Tamir Elijah Rice-Michael Brown Jr.Aiyana JonesOscar Grant-Renee Davis-Frank Clark-Akiel DenkinsGregory GunnsSamuel DuBose-Brendon Glenn-Freddie GrayNatasha McKennaWalter Scott-Christian Taylor-Ezell FordEric GarnerAkai Gurley-Laquan McDonald-Yvette SmithJamar ClarkRekia Boyd-Shereese Francis-Ramarley GrahamManuel LogginsSean Bell-Ronald Madison-Kendra JamesAmadou DialloLaTanya Haggerty-Margaret LaVerne Mitchell-Jason Michael RobinsonRicky WhiddenChase Anthony Tuseth-Jamal Rollins-James Rich JrGerald HallTerrence Thomas Jr-Anthony Eddington-Ryan JosephMarlon LewisLavar Douglas-Earl Eubanks Jr-Waltki WilliamsRedrick BatisteMark Hicks-Norman Gary-Bruce Johnson IIDavid Crosby DowdyJason Stringer-Irecas Valentine-Abdul ArtanTerrell WalkerRichard Grimes-Jerome Harmon-Cloetha MitchellKajuan RayeTalif ScudderIvory Pantallion III-George Bush IIIErickson BritoDarius Jones-Samson Fleurant-Dontrell CarterRasheem SingleterryAndrew Depeiza-Ritchie Harbison-Darryl ChisholmJoshua BealFerguson Laurent-Keenan Bradley-Michelle ShirleyTerrence ColemanJason King-Thad Hale-Malcolm HicksonRoy RichardsAaron Ballard-Demetrius Moore-Deborah DannerDarius WimberlyKirk Figueroa-Deric Brown-Larry MatthewsJaguar MathisChristopher Shackleford-Donte Jones-Carnell SnellReginald ThomasNajier Salaam-Jacquarius Robinson-George Richards MeyersDouglas RaineyChristopher Sowell-Alfred Olango-Oddis Colvin JrKeith ScottPhilip Hasan-Kadeem Trotter-Dahir AdanTerence CrutcherNicholas Glenn-Tyre King-Markell BivinsTerrence SterlingGregory Frazier-Sadiq Idris-Robert BrownMoses RubenJerome Damon-Michael Thompson-Levonia RigginsJaqwan TerryAlfred Toe-Donta Taylor-Kelley ForteBrandon ColesOmer Ismail Ali-Kenney Watkins-Colby FridaySylville SmithKendrick Brown-Fred Barlow-Darnell WickerJawari PorterJamarion Robinson-Demarco Newman-Joseph MannKorryn Gaines-And in no way is this a conclusive list-Say their names-Say their names!

For more info:  The Guardian-The Counted

A Huge Reason for the Police Brutality…..1033 Program

He’s Intentional

I just made it 6 months and still waiting for it to get easier after the loss of my beloved husband.  I still cry, have anxiety attacks, feel like I may fail for a few moments, miss his strong voice and bear hugs, but through it all, I still believe that one day our broken hearts will be healed.  He filled our home and there was nothing we felt we couldn’t accomplish.  Every time I see an ambulance I go back to that day and begin praying for a good outcome for the person being carried away.

But here’s the thing that keeps me going…..I trust the Most High with all my being, and I know He has the big picture.  He does everything intentionally and he is faithful.  My Beloved Mykael gave his life, literally and selflessly served so that I and his children and many others would benefit from living in the Land of Promise and each day is another chance to get it right.  So when you begin to become doubtful whether you’re grieving, afraid or just doubting yourself, please know that all you have to do is, “Just don’t quit”, as he would say to me all the time.

Hope this song inspires someone to keep going and moving despite what you see before you…….isn’t that what FAITH is?

 

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Do You Love Me?

A repost that I was amazed was still so timely!  A short poem from yours truly illustrating how in my imagination the Father may define LOVE as it pertains to His relationship with us. Do you love me enough toR…

Source: Do You #Love Me?”

Collateral Faith

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.  My family has suffered a great loss in that my husband passed away suddenly a few months ago.  I pray that this brings someone else some comfort in knowing you are not alone in losing a loved one.  I pour out my feelings often on paper to help to deal with the pain, but what I realize is that even in tragedy, there is a blessing.  I hug my children more and tighter.  We tell each other “I love you” a lot more as well.  My faith has been made stronger…….I call it, “Collateral Faith.  It’s the strengthening of faith that comes out of a tragic and sudden loss such as this.  It’s giving into The Heavenly Father’s will and knowing that he knows and sees all, for He is truly perfect.  Rest in Power our Beloved and we will only say so long for now.

 

“Collateral Faith” by Monica Terry, dedicated to the late Mykael Terry

Woke up the same as any day, rushed out the door and we said our goodbyes and even, “I’ll check in with you later”.

But shortly after a few short texts to one another back and forth that morning, at the check-in time, still no indicator,

That something was going very wrong

That text or phone call never happened.  Although I thought it strange and out of our routine,

I dismissed it away as “He must have gotten busy or tied up with something”. unforeseen

But something was going very wrong

An urgent request to come and see what befell him ripped me from dreamlife to nightmare

What are you telling me, stop, don’t want to hear this news, impossible to accept and bear

And something went horribly wrong

You see he left us so swiftly that day that even now reality is still settling in

My best friend, husband, teacher, children’s father and plenty more he had been

For him, we will always long

But to see the collateral faith that has been gifted from his sudden transition

That faith that is made stronger after our tragedy, making clear to us his mission

Make those he touched exceedingly strong

You made us all wake up, level up and believe with our whole hearts in His Word

We will remember him always, Our Beloved Mykael-M70; your story will always be heard

Throughout your generations lifelong

____________________________________________________________

As a family and community, we know that we must continue to live to ensure that the work that he put in for our Heavenly Father does not stop with Mykael.  We show our faith by continuing.  This was a huge blow to my family, our community, and family and friends abroad, but the faith that comes by seeing how The Most High has kept us and knowing He will continue to keep us makes us grateful for every day.  It’s the hardest thing we’ve ever faced in our lives as a family.  Mykael was such a great father, husband, brother, friend, son and teacher.  We will remember him always.  I would like to leave with you all this song that I often play in the morning while starting my day.  It reminds me of Mykael who gave his all.  For those that grieve from the departure of a loved one, you are not alone.  My best advice is to find those that you can share your story with and let your loved one’s story be heard; let their memory live on in you and be strong and of courage.  The pain never goes away but it does get better.

 

 

 

 

This Mother’s Love

A poem of reflection by Monica Terry “AKA” Taptutor

 

Anxious to witness your first breath, in constant dread of your last

Bleaching out the blood, coffee and red wine stains of your not so stellar past

Will turn entire cities upside down when you’re off the radar

Nearly fulfilling profile of a cyber stalker demanding you “Change that Avatar”

Fearlessly race up to save you at a mountain’s highest pinnacle

Ignoring naysayers, haters, and  fairweather friends with comments so cynical

Message to the ruler of this world, HANDS OFF, can’t have my offspring

Fight to my last heartbeat, breath, and brainwave; every fiber of my being

To make sure you feel THIS MOTHER’S LOVE!

 

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