There is nowhere that we could run or hide from our Heavenly Father. If you are one of His, He is always with you. We all have flaws and insecurities; some of us are broken from the damage that the world has done to us, but despite all of these things, the Most High has given us all gifts and life. Often we draw inspiration from others and think, ”If that had been me, I don’t think I could have survived what he or she went through”. But the key words are “went through”, meaning that they didn’t or maybe couldn’t dodge it but had to confront the problem no matter how huge and little by little work through it.
This post is about healing in order to reach our full potential. For me, reaching my full potential means finding my purpose. Each of us has one….some of us more. I feel that in order to feel whole, one must have a purpose. Our purpose comes from The Most High. We fight against the things that are often seen as difficult, we fight change because change makes us uncomfortable. This is His voice actually whispering to us what we ought to do. Here are a few things that I’ve discovered along the way to healing. I’m still not done but each day I’m learning how to move forward.
Tip #1- Go back and examine
If and when you get anxiety or laziness about doing something, whether it be a new or old task, or it may be worry about how you’ll tackle a problem, try to examine why you feel this way. Maybe it comes from a childhood experience that took your confidence down. If you can understand your hesitance at confronting the issue, that’s a huge step forward already. It goes against everything in us to go back to that place of discomfort or pain, but well worth it to understand what’s going on with us so that we don’t stay in that same place year after year…decades.
I’ll give you and example of why this is important. As many of you know, I began a journey to better health about 3 years ago. I could’ve started this years ago but I had anxiety like many of failure and change. When I began to unpack why and discovered that I was afraid of putting in all of the work like juicing, cutting way back on dairy, meat, refined foods, etc, because I didn’t want it not to work and I would have wasted all of that time and effort. At the end of the matter, I said to myself, ”So What”. It came from always being the only African American in many accelerated courses in high school, in my college courses as a Pharmacist, on my residency after college and on all of my jobs. I was so used to trying to “represent” my ethnic group and not being a disappointment that I subconsciously put that pressure on myself in almost every aspect of my life. (me above college 1992) If I could go back and tell my young self anything it would be, “Girlfriend you got this, only worry about pleasing The Most High and all will work out”.
Tip #2- Break large goals into steps
Let’s say you want to lose 50 pounds. If we look at it in terms of 50 pounds, most of us would never get started on the weight loss. As a matter of fact, a better way to look at it is what lifestyle changes do I need to make in order to be healthy. The weight will naturally come off if we make healthy lifestyle changes. Start with small things like finding a healthy substitute for sugar. There are so many natural ways to sweeten our food and drink. Another personal example: I received an herbal tea bag from a coworker and was told to please make us both a cup of tea for our break. Well before my journey to better health, I was using 3 teaspoons of brown sugar and about 1-2 teaspoons of honey (and had the nerve to include ginger and lemon…lol). I made the same cup of tea for my coworker and was asked how much sugar I used. When I told her, she said, ” Oh my goodness! No wonder I’m bouncing off the walls!” If I tried to go back to the way I used to make tea, I wouldn’t be able to tolerate it. My taste buds would reject the over sweetened tea. If we make changes in increments, but very deliberate and keep adding on healthy changes, in a few months to a year you will definitely see the difference. Set your goals whether it be to decrease sodium by replacing with potassium salt, or using agave or other natural sweeteners instead of sugar, incorporating juicing and replacing one cup of fruit and veggie smoothie with one meal a day. In time you will arrive at the ultimate goal…..50 pounds weight loss!!!πͺπΏππͺπΏππͺπΏππͺπΏπ
Tip #3- As stated above, self-care isn’t selfish
We must learn that saying no or perhaps at a later time is okay sometimes. If we abuse ourselves to the point where we have nothing left day after day after day, we’re not only no good to ourselves, we can’t help or serve anyone else effectively. This is when a depression sets in. We become sleep deprived, mentally drained, grouchy and just plain toxic to be around. Each and every one of us needs to do self-care and be spiritually grounded in order to fulfill our purpose. When we don’t do the things that refuel us, notice how quickly we come out of our place of peace. For me it’s continuing to cultivate my relationship with The Most High and taking time out daily to do one thing good for myself. That may be something I love such as working with my window garden, squeezing in some sewing or a workout, or just taking in my favorite series, even if no more than 30 minutes. Studying the Word is always a must as well.
Tip #4- Love is a healer
You can never go wrong by having a support system, starting with the Heavenly Father. He will never fail you. Whether they be close family members or friends, share your fears, your goals and what you feel your strengths are. Above all, never be that one that tries to give the least, after all, we’re all here to be of service to one another. It has been proven in multiple studies that people that are givers are the happiest and most at peace. Of course there is a balance to that (refer to tip #2 π).
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If you ask anyone from any culture what is generation trauma, you may get a lot of replies stating, “I don’t know”, or even an answer that after thinking about it for a few minutes would describe the pain endured by many in their family, their neighborhoods or even those who share their nationality. What’s even more interesting is that if you ask what the cure is, you may get silence or even more replies of, “I don’t know” and moreover, “I don’t know and I have no idea of what to do about it….but somebody needs to do something”.
Generational trauma is exactly what it sounds like: trauma that isnβt just experienced by one person but extends from one generation to the next. βIt can be silent, covert, and undefined, surfacing through nuances and inadvertently taught or implied throughout someoneβs life from an early age onward,β licensed clinical psychologist and parenting evaluatorΒ Melanie English, PhD
Article: What Is Generational Trauma? Here’s How Experts Explain It by Β Claire GillespieΒ Β Published on October 27, 2020 Health
Some would say it sounds like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder); however, I want you to hear what Dr. Joy DeGruy has to say about her topic on Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome being different from PTSD and she explains how trauma can be passed on generation after generation. As an African American woman living now in Israel, which I consider also a part of Africa and not the “Middle East”, I can totally identify with what she says. Being outside of the bubble of America has helped me to begin the healing process.
“Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. How is it different from PTSD? Posted by YouTuber AJ+ Opinion
So, seeing this video and knowing what some experts would say the definition is of Generational Trauma and more specifically to Africans worldwide who suffered a horrific holocaust, capture, murder, insidious treatment called slavery and terrorism for centuries and still to this day post-slavery……….what can we do to heal and move forward?
The Most High is a loving El and just as there are people who hurt and destroy, there are those who He blesses us with in our lives to heal and thrive. In each culture that has suffered atrocities from mankind, there is a formula for healing and I believe it is within that culture itself in which the people understand one another’s story, plight, struggles, fears, weaknesses, strengths and may have a tendency to have more compassion for one another….it’s called ones culture.
Culture is defined in many ways, one being: all the ways of life including arts, beliefs and institutions of a population that are passed down from generation to generation. Culture has been called “the way of life for an entire society.” As such, it includes codes of manners, dress, language, religion, rituals, art.
The African Holocaust of the Transatlantic slave trade destroyed 15 million or even more lives. With such devastation, it would take the Most High and each other to heal…..more over, our culture is put in place to protect us. Our belief in the Most High and following His instructions is our protection & healing. As a woman of Jewish faith, I whole heartedly believe this. The below Torah verse speaks to this subject of the laws of the Most High and how it is to be incorporated into our every day lives and culture.
Deu 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
To each and every one that reads this post, this is to be our healing balm of Gilead to stop the trauma, heal, move forward and ultimately thrive so that each and every one of us that chooses to can be a light unto the world and help others to do the same.
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I know we’ve heard many times before that stress kills. In these days we are overwhelmed day in and out by so many external things outside of our control and also internal thoughts, fears, doubts, insecurities and more. Our faith can be shaken by the least of things, not to mention tragedy and problems that seem too enormous to bear. Well I hope to give some relaxation tips that work for me as well as natural ways such as herbs and minerals to help decrease stress and help you to relax.
Before we get into herbs and minerals, let’s talk about some simple things that can be done to decrease stress or to relax better. The following is a list of some of my personal favorites that work every time for me:
Meditation on the Word of The Most High: this one is of the utmost importance. I have a few favorites passages that comfort me, some of them from my youth that I saw my parents and Grandmother recite or read in times of trouble or stress.
Psalm 23 The Most High’s Prayer and Psalm 91 about messengers guarding those that are His in all our ways. This also helps us to let go and to submit to His will. Don’t trouble ourselves with things out of our control once we’ve done all that He has shown us to do.
Find a special place that you can go in or outside of your home that’s quiet and peaceful, even if it’s just 15-30 minutes and do one of your favorite things…..reading, walking, looking at nature, yoga, exercising, drinking a cup of tea, etc.
Make a list of the things that are stressing you whether it is a “TO DO” List or things you want to change and attack that list one day at a time. Give a time limit of how much time per day you will focus on those things and put the list away after each time out of sight.
Have a support group of family and/or friends that you can share things with. Don’t dump on them but from time to time it’s okay to let those closest to you know about your toughest problems. Who knows, they may have a healthy solution. Make sure these are trustworthy people and let their lives be the testimony for this.
Don’t take on other peoples’ stress!!!!! I can not stress this enough (no pun intended). If you can’t help someone, be there as a true friend to listen but it’s not your problem to solve. If there is something you can do to HELP, by all means, help but don’t make it your issue to solve.
Now that we have discussed those things, how about some info on natural herbs and minerals to reduce stress and relax. This video shares some great ideas but there are so many more. Hopefully this will get you started into searching for something that fits your lifestyle and preferences.
My favorites are Valerian Root as a tea or drops and Magnesium taken as a capsule. Lavender drops or Lemon Grass drops near your pillow works very well for a deep sleep. They are both relatively inexpensive and easy to find in your local pharmacy or health care store. As always, speak to your health care provider before adding any supplement to your diet.
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Many call Black Seed Oil ”Liquid Gold” and some have said that it cures everything except death. It was so valuable that the seeds were found in King Tut’s tomb, which gives you an idea of its value even in ancient times. I heard about this Blackseed Oil for the first time through a great friend but didn’t seek it out immediately. After finally looking into it and deciding to try it, I wanted to share some of my thoughts; but first, check out this short video review by a physician, Dr. Eric Berg.
As you may have heard in the above video, it is said to cure/ease so many things. I began using it as an anti-inflammatory and pain cure for arthritis, mainly for my back. Also, I believe that it is helping to protect my nerve cells against free radical damage (acting as an anti-oxidant/anti-aging). It causes cancer cells to commit suicide…..WHAT???π€· It is in medical terms a somatostatin analog, which as you heard the doctor in the vid state was the only natural one that he could find. People pay thousands of dollars for cancer treatment. As far as concomitant and natural therapy for multiple ailments, this one has made number one on my list!!!π STOCK THIS IN YOUR CABINET!!!
The only drawback I can report about this amazing oil is that I suffered from constipation and had to put more effort into staying hydrated. I currently am using only one teaspoon a day and plan to continue this natural remedy.
Apple Cider Vinegar and Lemon Together
Check out this quick video on ACV and Lemon together. A very powerful combination. It’s absolutely been life-changing. As a part of my daily detox, I also give it a thumbs up. π STOCK THIS IN YOUR CABINET!!!
I take 1-2 ounces of lemon, 2 tablespoons of ACV in 16-20 ounces of water. I have not yet seen any drawbacks from this natural therapy. ππΏππΏππΏ
Tasty Vegan Cooking…Some of my Faves from my kitchen and from YouTuber Rachel Ama!
This change from a nearly meatless, animal-free diet has definitely been a learning process, but very rewarding. The main thing to remember is to GET STARTED and DON’T BE AFRAID to experiment in the kitchen. Try new things. I’m including a video below of Rachel Ama’s from her YouTube Channel. She has some amazing recipes. Also below I have posted a few pics of my own that my family and I enjoy daily. I do meal prep a few days out of the week to cut down on the cooking time and then begin to ”build a plate/bowl” so to speak. Remember to KEEP IT ALKALINE as much as possible and pack your meals with nutrients, BUY ORGANIC when possible and WASH produce, beans and grains.
Last but surely not least, I leave you with some meditation
A Psalm of David, Psalm 30:1-12Β This was originally written by David to be sung at the inauguration of the Temple, though he knew it would not take place in his lifetime but of his son’s, Solomon. The Psalm entered into the siddur as a prayer to be said on Hanukka and was later adopted as a part of the daily prayers. It means a lot to me because of all the trials and tribulations me and my family have been through. In the midst of it all, pain and joy, we emerge feeling grateful and blessed. Most of all, we are transforming and growing daily. Stay blessed!
Psa 30:1 I exalt You, O ΧΧΧΧ, for You have drawn me up, And have not let my enemies rejoice over me. Psa 30:2 ΧΧΧΧ my Elohim, I have cried to You, And You have healed me. Psa 30:3 ΧΧΧΧ, You brought me up from the grave; You have kept me alive, from going down into the pit. Psa 30:4 Sing praise to ΧΧΧΧ, You kind ones of His, And give thanks at the remembrance of His Set-apartness. Psa 30:5 For His displeasure is for a moment, His delight is for life; Weeping might last for the night, But joy comes in the morning. Psa 30:6 As for me, I have said in my ease, βNever would I be shaken!β Psa 30:7 ΧΧΧΧ, in Your good pleasure You have made my mountain to stand strong; You hid Your face, and I was troubled. Psa 30:8 I cried out to You, O ΧΧΧΧ; And to ΧΧΧΧ I prayed: Psa 30:9 βWhat gain is there in my blood, When I go down to the pit? Would dust praise You? Would it declare Your truth? Psa 30:10 βHear, O ΧΧΧΧ, and show me favour; ΧΧΧΧ, be my helper!β Psa 30:11 You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have torn off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, Psa 30:12 So that esteem might praise You and not be silent. O ΧΧΧΧ my Elohim, I thank You forever.
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Spirituality is the center of my life and my Love for the Most High. We should always try to bear these fruits so that there is no room for negativity and when trouble comes, we will be able to withstand the stress and temptations of the world. But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Temperance: against such there is no law.
Decrease Stress in your life as much as possibleπ°
Get at least 7 hours of sleep each night. Notice that I said each night!!!!π΄
Have a Hobby, do anything that makes you at peace with The Most High
One of my major hobbies is dance and I gain so much from teaching the art. Find something that suits you and gain healing from it.
A support group is extremely important as well:
Sometimes you’ll look right and left and find that it’s just you, The Most High, and the Ruach ha Kodesh. If we’re extremely blessed we have the support of close family and friends…be sure that those you walk with are for Yah to gain optimum support
Responsibility for your own health: Cooking/preparing your own meals & educating yourself about what changes to make, listen to your body. It’s a journey. It may help as you get started to keep a journal of what you eat and drink and the effect these things have on you.
Gardening at any level or taking care of house plants- grow what you can and eat it! Have a window garden or an inside herb garden. It doesn’t take much space or time.
Exercise and stretching:π§πΏββοΈποΈββοΈπ€ΎπΏ
What’s your actual age? Can you bend over and touch your palms to the floor? Stretching and yoga just do the body good in turning back the clock. Check out my Taptutor Youtube Channel for low/ moderate impact exercise. Stretching and higher intensity dance videos coming to you in the future!
Starting over…shopping list:π Drink/Eat alkaline water & food
What’s in your kitchen? See the above link for a list of the top 15 alkaline foods. Also daily detoxification with lemon water, apple cider vinegar, and water are great ways to gently detox the body.
So you’re in the grocery store or the whole foods store…….what do you purchase??? (this list will hopefully get you started). Most of these foods detoxify, are antioxidants and anti-inflammatory.
Grains
Fruits
Nuts & Seeds
Vegetables
Other
Legumes & Beans
Oils/ Healthy Fats
Whole Spelt Flour
Applesπ
Almonds
Peppers: especially cayenne, bell peppers
Mushroomsπ (rich in vitamin D)
Green/red/ Black/Orange Lentils
Olive Oil
Quinoa
Blueberries Raspberries Cherries
Brazil Nuts
broccoliπ₯¦
Plant based drinks (not soy) like Almond, coconutπ₯₯, cashew, etc.
Chick Peas
Avo- cado Oil
Brown Rice
Strawberries
Pine Nuts
root veggies carrots, beets
Hummos, apple cider vinegar
Kidney Beans
Sesame Seed Oil
Oats
Seeded Watermelonπ
Walnuts
kale, greens
Date Sugar, Honeyπ― or Coconut Sugar
Red or Black Beans
Sun- flower Oil
Buckwheat
Dark seeded grapes
Tahini
sea veggies
Dried Herbs: oregano, basil, parsley, etc.
Tofu in moderation (fermented) Tempeh
Black seed Oil & Hemp Oil
If you must have bread whole grain
Limes/lemons
Chia Seeds
sweet potatoes
Spirulina, ginger, sea salt tumeric, green tea
Coconut Oilπ₯₯
Avocadoπ₯
Flax Seeds
onions
Matcha
Clementine
Pumpkin Seeds
asparagus
Moringa
Banana
garlic
Cinnamon
Minimum Must Have Grocery List
Caution if you suffer from gout or gall/kidney stones or are prone to oxalate accumulation as you implement the above foods
I leave you with this inspirational video and thought!!! “God Can Do Anything But Fail”
Try Him, believe in Him with all your heart, all is possible!
Disclaimer: I’m not an M.D. but a Doctor of Pharmacy, not Ph.D. Please, anything that you do make sure that you inform your physician of any changes from a health aspect.
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Today was not too bad.Β Good thing I stayed busy at work.Β Was the exact day that our Beloved one departed from us.Β The year seemed to go by so quickly but yet was so difficult for us all.Β I want to thank each and every person out there that shared in our grief and supported us.Β The journey of healing is not over but it does get easier.Β As a part of the healing process, I often turned to writing.Β I hope that this poem is received as being straight from the heart and encourages someone to move forward despite the grief.
BRUISEDΒ byΒ Monica Terry
20/7/2020
Dark scarletΒ resulted as capillaries burst underneath brown, supple skin as a result of the initial impact of the horrific injury. As the words, βHuΒ Neftarβ departed from his lips I began to replay my lifeβs history.Β What? Within 24 hours I need to come up with anΒ obiturary?
Blue and purpleΒ brilliantly emerged with the tenderness of the skin that received blood into surrounding tissues as we stood and looked at the body before the funeral.Β Reality setting in,Β nociceptorsΒ delayed sending a proper signal that was computable.Β Stop!Β Arenβt there loopholes in the CNS for situations so Immutable?
Pale greenΒ didnβt want to show itself so quickly, because that would mean time marching on without him here; as birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, graduations occur and we all try to persevere.Β Is time speeding up?Β Maybe he knew the end was very near.Β I would like to think that when he was brought back that he said, βPeace outΒ Yaβll, keep faith, nothing to fearβ.
Yellow-brown introduces a new reality as old hemoglobin is absorbed and we make an attempt not to show the discoloration.Β The fear that the old and new friends when we speak of him may think itβs an unhealthy fixation.Β Really?Β And I ask that with a bit of indignation.
Eventually, I know without a doubt that aΒ Pure brownΒ will emerge again, and perhaps other bruises will appear to join the colorful array on our skin; each oneβs dermis displaying what phase we are currently in.Β Itβs bruises that make us who we are so we rise to win……time…. time….and time again.
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I just made it 6 months and still waiting for it to get easier after the loss of my beloved husband.Β I still cry, have anxiety attacks, feel like I may fail for a few moments, miss his strong voice and bear hugs, but through it all, I still believe that one day our broken heartsΒ will be healed.Β He filled our home and there was nothing we felt we couldn’t accomplish.Β Every time I see an ambulance I go back to that day and begin praying for a good outcome for the person being carried away.
But here’s the thing that keeps me going…..I trust the Most High with all my being, and I know He has the big picture.Β He does everything intentionally and he is faithful.Β My Beloved Mykael gave his life, literally and selflessly served so that I and his children and many others would benefit from living in the Land of Promise and each day is another chance to get it right.Β So when you begin to become doubtful whether you’re grieving, afraid or just doubting yourself, please know that all you have to do is, “Just don’t quit”, as he would say to me all the time.
Hope this song inspires someone to keep going and moving despite what you see before you…….isn’t that what FAITH is?
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A repost that I was amazed was still so timely! Β A short poem from yours truly illustrating how in my imagination the Father may define LOVE as it pertains to His relationship with us. Do you love me enough toRβ¦
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.Β My family has suffered a great loss in that my husband passed away suddenly a few months ago.Β I pray that this brings someone else some comfort in knowing you are not alone in losing a loved one.Β I pour out my feelings often on paper to help to deal with the pain, but what I realize is that even in tragedy, there is a blessing.Β I hug my children more and tighter.Β We tell each other “I love you” a lot more as well.Β My faith has been made stronger…….I call it, “Collateral Faith.Β It’s the strengthening of faith that comes out of a tragic and sudden loss such as this.Β It’s giving into The Heavenly Father’s will and knowing that he knows and sees all, for He is truly perfect.Β Rest in Power our Beloved and we will only say so long for now.
“Collateral Faith” by Monica Terry, dedicated to the late Mykael Terry
Woke up the same as any day, rushed out the door and we said our goodbyes and even, “I’ll check in with you later”.
But shortly after a few short texts to one another back and forth that morning, at the check-in time, still no indicator,
That something was going very wrong
That text or phone call never happened.Β Although I thought it strange and out of our routine,
I dismissed it away as “He must have gotten busy or tied up with something”. unforeseen
But something was going very wrong
An urgent request to come and see what befell him ripped me from dreamlife to nightmare
What are you telling me, stop, don’t want to hear this news, impossible to accept and bear
And something went horribly wrong
You see he left us so swiftly that day that even now reality is still settling in
My best friend, husband, teacher, children’s father and plenty more he had been
For him, we will always long
But to see the collateral faith that has been gifted from his sudden transition
That faith that is made stronger after our tragedy, making clear to us his mission
Make those he touched exceedingly strong
You made us all wake up, level up and believe with our whole hearts in His Word
We will remember him always, Our Beloved Mykael-M70; your story will always be heard
As a family and community, we know that we must continue to live to ensure that the work that he put in for our Heavenly Father does not stop with Mykael.Β We show our faith by continuing.Β This was a huge blow to my family, our community, and family and friends abroad, but the faith that comes by seeing how The Most High has kept us and knowing He will continue to keep us makes us grateful for every day.Β It’s the hardest thing we’ve ever faced in our lives as a family.Β Mykael was such a great father, husband, brother, friend, son and teacher.Β We will remember him always.Β I would like to leave with you all this song that I often play in the morning while starting my day.Β It reminds me of Mykael who gave his all.Β For those that grieve from the departure of a loved one, you are not alone.Β My best advice is to find those that you can share your story with and let your loved one’s story be heard; let their memory live on in you and be strong and of courage.Β The pain never goes away but it does get better.
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